Do you wish to continue? 9..8..7..adfkbvl.kn l QUIT!!!!!

Video game to live action film adaptations are a touchy subject.The characters and storyline already exist both visually and audibly and pulling off a decent execution is very difficult and rarely happens. More often than not (see: every video game movie that wasn’t Prince of Persia) it ends in absolute fail.

That being said…

Being a Tekken fan I wouldn’t let myself get away with not seeing the live action movie that came out during some recent timeline.
I should probably go easier on myself.
The movie was awful. I yelled. A lot. I wanted to rage quit.

wat is HAPPENING!?

There were just so many crucial elements I couldn’t get over.

Mostly the characters, everything was just… wrong. Understandably the current Tekken roster is huge and you can only fit so much water in a shallow pool of a storyline. The characters in the movie included:

  • Jin Kazama
  • Jun Kazama
  • Steve Fox
  • Marshall Law
  • Heihachi Mishima
  • Kazuya Mishima
  • Christie Montero
  • Yoshimitsu
  • Raven
  • Eddie Gordo
  • Nina Williams
  • Anna Williams
  • Miguel
  • Dragunov
  • Bryan Fury
  • Jack-5

I could go on for days on the flaws of each character, but to spare you the wall of text I’ll make a few call outs.

  • Jin had a slight British accent. Enough said.
  • Marshall Law made no exaggerated sounds, in fact no sound at all and was lacking his Bruce Lee hairstyle.
  • Steve Fox was a street rat with a buzzed head, where was the arrogance and long slicked back hair?
  • Christie was way too white American and not Brazilian.
  • Raven…. was spot on.

That being said… I feel that they spent their entire film budget making Raven look like Raven for all 3 scenes he was in.

So poor casting and character development aside, what about the fighting? Yes there were some decent fight scenes. Pretty standard movie fare, but I was looking for that Tekken style fighting flare. I wanted to see Law hopping around making the exaggerated sounds. I wanted to see the capoeira style that Christie and Eddie are notorious for. I WANTED TO SEE BRYAN FURY LAUGH! So fighting style accuracy? Wasn’t there.

But wait! Maybe the plot could save this monstrosity.
Nope. Chuck Testa.
The storyline was a loosely knit rebel-seekng-revenge-against-totalirian-future-society. Somewhere in the midst of all this the tournament was turned into a deathmatch, in which we saw 2 deaths. Not even any real blood or gore. I believe the appropriate slang term is “weak sauce”. Maybe there was more to it, but I was simply overwhelmed with angry at all the inaccuracies piled into something called the Tekken movie.

Unless you have low blood circulation and need to get the blood flowing I suggest that you stay away from this movie. If you don’t heed my warning? Be prepared to rage quit.

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Mimi Battaglia

About Mimi Battaglia

Mimi Cheng is the main protagonist in a slice of life anime (I mean look at that hair!), but her story will never be finished. You can find her suffering over some long procrastinated cosplay or at your local conventions! You can also see/hear her and her lisp on the "Shot 'O Games" podcast or on our YouTube page. She's also a huge background player as one of our editors and admin for our Facebook page and articles. With a strong background in fashion, art and cosmetology she is one of our go-to staff members when seeking advicce on just how to nail that look!

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