So anime is pretty great. It takes through the realm of the 2D and bombards you with things such as love, magic, power levels, spiky hair, outrageously large meat buns, swords-that-are-large-sheets-of-metal-which-are-totally-not-overcompensating-for-something, and of course, the feels. Anime has had an impact on the lives of many geeks, for better or worse, and while it has opened up many doors leading to happiness and whatnot, it has also opened up trapdoors to places that should have never existed. With that said, we’ll now open up those forbidden scrolls and talk about why anime is bad for you.
1. Anime completely warps your expectations of reality
Ahh, slice of life anime, with your Toradoras and Kokoro Connects and whatnot. You always have a way of hitting me with “the feels” and pulling my heart strings in a way that they form an internal roller coaster track. You show me absolutely adorable relationships with absolutely adorable couples and make me wish, “Man, I wish I could be in a relationship like that!” but when it all comes down to it, your chances of finding that one yandere girl or that one catgirl of your dreams are pretty much impossible. You’ll most likely not ever switch bodies with your lover, and you’ll most likely never be trapped in a virtual reality game and find your lover in said game, and while that’s both good and bad sometimes you just have to wonder, “What if?”.
2. Music that you cannot understand the lyrics to get stuck in your head.
Think about your favorite anime openings and endings. Now think about all of the times you’ve attempted to sing said songs and just ended up making up sounds that you believed to sound Japanese. Cringing yet? Exactly. Did someone say Platinum Disco? How do you say “platinum” in Japanese?
But I guess this is also a thing.
3. Waifu Wars
Webster defines the waifu war as a moment when ignorance overwhelms the mind of an otherwise logical geek man or woman, causing him or her to act in an illogical, self-destructive manner (this explanation sound familiar to anyone?). This is where feelings get hurt and where the anger comes out. Waifus, or husbandos for some, are, well… like your lover in the world of anime. Hearing people talk bad things about your waifu is the equivalent to having someone step on your brand new Air Jordans or your brand new iPhone; it’s just not cool, and someone is going to get hurt physically, mentally, or both. On that note, Kirino is trash.
4. American television is ruined for you.
“The Walking Dead? Is that an OVA for Highschool of the Dead?” “True Blood? Are there vampires like Alucard Hellsing?” “CSI: Miami? Is that anything like Detective Conan?”
Ultimately, this may or may not be a bad thing, but hey.
5. Anime leads you to the most bizarre things.
(Warning: Offensive language)
It all speaks for itself.